20 drinks party tips if you're the host
+ some stats + AN INVITE!
Before I start: I am amazed and delighted to discover that this newsletter is read in 194 countries and all 50 US states, of which the top three are California, New York and Texas. There are loads of you in the US and I had absolutely no idea. Hello! THANK YOU for subscribing! Happy nearly-Thanksgiving! (This post by Tamar Adler might be helpful if you’re hosting for the first time and feeling stressed out. She is like balm in human form and her cooking advice is always stellar).
Hello also to my 9 readers in Bolivia, 165 in Argentina, sizeable chunk in Scandinavia and 9 in Iceland - you must particularly enjoy me whining about the cold in the UK and about how dark it gets 👍🏼 (apologies).
I also have 1 lone, majestic subscriber in Greenland and I wish they would make themselves known because I am extremely interested in Greenland and would love to know every last detail of what it’s like to live there (this person should 100% start a Substack). Improbably I also have 5 subscribers in Papua New Guinea, so a particular hello if that’s you and again, all quotidian domestic details welcome, none too trivial.
I don’t think I could name 194 countries off the top of my head, could you? I’d stall a bit around the 80-90 mark. Mind you, there’s a man on TikTok who goes around asking people things like ‘can you name 3 countries in Africa’ or ‘can you name 5 countries that start with N’ and an incredible number of people just can’t.
I’ve been thinking about Christmas parties, partly because I am trying (and so far failing) to find a date when I could shoehorn one in myself, and partly because I read some tips of Jilly Cooper’s in this 2018 piece. It’s paywalled, but I feel I can share Jilly’s two most outstanding bits of party advice:
“If you want to chat up a chap, say, ‘Gosh, you’re gorgeous!’ or just, ‘Do you want to come upstairs?’ Men are rarely complimented, so they’ll be very flattered.”
On how to get rid of the people who won’t leave: “I tend to ask my PA to go around telling everyone that ‘Jilly is tired’ and it’s time to go home now. It’s worth hiring a PA for the night, just for that part.”
Yes, it is. She’s also very against bowl food, as am I - nobody has enough arms.
Here are my own tips, for hosting a Christmas drinks party (rather than a giant party-party), though actually before that, I have an invitation for paid subscribers who are in the UK and can be in London on December 16. Substack has organised a very fun event and I hope some of you can come. Let’s MINGLE! Details here: