Me & My Desk: Polly Vernon
the benefits of writing in cafés
Good morning! This is the fifth instalment of a series called Me & My Desk, which exists because I find other writers’ work routines and work environments fascinating. You can read about Andrew O’Hagan’s desk here, Clover Stroud’s desk here, Emma Gannon’s desk here and
’s desk here.
What I like best about Polly Vernon is that she’s cool, opinionated and in the know, but without a speck of ‘you can’t sit with us’ mean girl energy. Her writing is generous and inclusive. She’s clever and candid and can write about anything, from abortion to female envy to having an eye lift to anxiety and double standards. She also has properly excellent shopping recommendations, as well as a really outstanding and sweet-faced dog. I always think her Substack is a sort of one-woman magazine, which makes sense given she deputy-edited The Observer’s weekly mag for years.
Polly has been a journalist since the late 90s, starting on a young women’s magazine called Minx (‘SO FUN’) and worked everywhere from Vogue to the Evening Standard afterwards. She has been a freelance interviewer and columnist for the last decade and a bit, splitting her time between Grazia, The Times and Substack.
How The Female Body Works, which was published last week, is her second book. From the jacket: ‘For years, award-winning journalist Polly Vernon drove her body around like it was a car - and she had zero interest in the manual. This book charts her mission to lift the bonnet, have a good old rummage and find out what's really going on. She talks to neuroscientists, academics, medics, midwives, gynaes, psychologists and physios […] And so here it is, THE complete guide to the female body - head to toe, inside and out, physical and emotional - with reassuring advice on how to mitigate the ways it makes life trickier, along with notes of celebration for the ways it helps us out’.
There’s a free-to-read extract from it on Polly’s Substack.
What is the desk?
THERE ISN’T ONE! I know, and I call myself a writer! What there are, are a series of places - different tables in three different local cafes - and crucially, a laptop stand. I think because I spent half my professional life as an on-staff writer (first at Minx, then at Vogue, then at the Evening Standard, and, for eight years, The Observer), I find it easier to write with bustle around me than I do at home. So I kind of recreate office environments in whichever cafe. Writing can be so lonely, I need interaction and distraction.
Where is the desk?
My assorted desk stations are three cafes near my house in Archway, north London: 68 Degrees (tiny, so cute, used to be the local cobblers, INSANE CAKES), Coffeehouse Whittington Park (sweetest staff) and Bear & Wolf on Campdale Road. They need to be dog friendly, because Rita, my almost-four-year-old labradoodle would be FURIOUS if I didn’t take her, and airy, with funny staff. Funny staff is crucial because I routinely grab one of them for a quote for whichever article I’m writing, and that lot are amazing for it
The laptop stand is twenty five-quid’s worth of collapsable metal by Boyata - I got it off Amazon, forgive me - and it. Is. Essential. Raises my laptop up to almost eyeline, wherever I am, keeps my posture upright, keeps my wrists straight-ish. I hand out the details of it to strangers an average of three times a week. Writing is 50% perspiration, 50% tending to your ergonomics so you don’t destroy your spine.
What do you look out onto?
68 Degrees is super fun because it’s right near an outpost of St Martin’s fashion school, so I get to watch the young ‘uns, and see how they’re dressing. It’s mainly midi kilts with gaucho boots and cami tops at the moment. I love how little concern they have for temperature. The kilts are full on wool, even though it’s summer, and in winter, they will let exposed limbs go blue, rather than not wear a micro mini if required. I so respect that.
The other two give out onto parks, which is lovely, though Rita simply cannot understand what we’re doing inside, when we could be Chasing Balls. I’ve got to know loads of people, they drop in to wherever and say hello. I like that, it’s generally much more stimulating than it is distracting. And they give me so many ideas.
How does sitting down at the desk make you feel?
It’s bliss. It feels like I’m exactly where I should be, doing the thing I should be doing. Getting better at it every time. And it doesn’t matter what I’m doing: working on the book, writing a shopping list for Substack, knocking out a contentious column for The Times or an interview for someone. It’s the same. Someone once said it’s about "being where you’re aligned with your purpose”. Which is very pretentious, but that’s a bit what it feels like. Even when it’s difficult and I’m struggling to nail something, I sort of know I will eventually, and it’ll feel good when I do.
When do you write - are there set hours?
As a general policy, and wherever possible, I leave the mornings free for it. Take the dog for a walk first thing, then set up the laptop stand somewhere by about 10, 10.30. Three hours writing minimum, four if it’s necessary. The rest of the day is meetings (ugh)/ admin/ thinking time. I also LOVE being home for 2.10 so that I can watch Countdown on Channel 4. I love Countdown.
Daily word count, or as the spirit moves you?
There’s no “as the spirit moves you” in journalism (as you well know). If you’ve got a deadline - you’ve got to meet it. I find that nine times out of ten, everything I write is better if I have the space to write it one morning, then revisit it the following one after a nice sleep - but that’s not always possible.
Three / four hours of fresh writing a day is as much as I can manage (with it still being good), and it’s usually enough to write whatever needs to be written. I am no perfectionist. My best writing is always a little rough around the edges. That’s one of the reasons I love Substack - so much latitude for Rough Around the Edges.
Do you wander to and from the desk, or stay at it until you’re done?
I try and stretch a little periodically. Stop my spine from seizing up/ my legs going to sleep. But I’m generally pretty still.
Are there pens? Are there notebooks? Are there photos? Are there small weird talismanic items?
I have this amazing laptop bag by Kaai. It’s SO chic and it’s got a load of compartments, so of course, I’ve filled them. My favourite pens (Uni-ball Gel Impact, black or blue) plus some random merchandise ones I've picked up over the years (/stolen), which are REALLY good. My brother-in-law has a company called Suprafilt, no real idea what it does, BUT MY GOD, THE PENS!
There are also several different lip glosses, which I like to apply while seeking inspiration. Poo bags, obviously (for Rita, not me). Smints, because my sinuses can play up, but Smints make me sneeze, which clears them often.
I ADORE notebooks. I have a particular thing for the soft back A5 ones which look like novels. I buy good ones wherever I see them, but I keep them at home, I actually use them pretty exclusively when I’m interviewing. I’ll always work out my questions on my laptop, on a Word file, but then I transfer them by hand into a notebook, and take that to the job.
I do this because a sheet of print-out questions looks so officious and cold, it’s just one more thing that can alarm my interview subject, whereas a sweet little notebook filled with my terrible illegible scrawlings? No problem! I am very sneaky. It’s all part of my Columbo act. The more dozy and incompetent and unthreatening I seem, the better.
Is there a dog or a cat?
There is a Rita. She’s brilliant actually. I trained her to chill while I wrote when she was a puppy, I also trained her to love cafes. She often takes it upon herself to perform a kind of maitre d’ job, greeting new customers as they walk in. She is an excellent dog.
Longhand, Scrivener, Word, Pages, something else?
Word! The Notes App on my phone for ideas.
Do you listen to music, and if so what?
I listen to whatever the cafe is playing, if they’re playing anything at all. Jan who runs 68 Degrees, and is 32 if he’s a day, seems to love slightly obscure 80s pop, which is great, because so do I. He has also taken to playing the soundtrack to La La Land lately, another fave. I always say I learned to write by taking apart the lyrics on good pop songs (thank you, George Michael), so I find it useful if anything.
Do you use internet-blocking apps like Freedom?
I’ve never even heard of it! I’m quite good at giving myself 10 minutes on Net A Porter or The Mail, then: back to it.
Are there desk snacks? Is there desk tea?
There is ALWAYS a flat white (cow’s milk). Bear + Wolf do an excellent poached eggs and Portobello mushroom on toast. A little, perfectly moist banana bread, every once in a while…
Do you have an ergonomic chair?
No, but I HAVE THE STAND.
Do you wear proper clothes and shoes, or e.g. jogging bottoms and socks?
You wrote something years ago, which I have never forgotten, because of the wisdom, which was something like ‘getting dressed is the most creative act most women commit every day’. That is so true, and getting dressed for me is kind of the start of writing. I’m making something, an outfit. I think it puts my head in the right space, as well as making me feel good and confident about how I look.
So always proper clothes! I take the dog for a walk in the joggers, then change into a proper outfit for the day job. This is partly because I have so many beautiful clothes - my freebie stock, through my Grazia column, is plentiful and high - and not enough opportunities to wear them, and because it makes me feel good. Proper. I love writing with all my heart… But it’s also my job. I show up for it and I present like a professional. It’s also, I think, a bit newspaper / magazine background, where, you could, in theory, be sent somewhere formal - Parliament, Joan Collins’ house (that has happened to me) et cetera - last minute, so you always need to look slightly the part, just in case.
Is your phone in the room when you write?
Yes. I don’t find it a massive distraction. Or I find it the right level of distraction. Plus editors are constantly calling me for something or other, and they do not approve if you don’t pick up. sharpish.
Do you resent or welcome occasional interruptions by adult humans? If welcome, how many is too many?
Oh, welcome! As I’ve already said. I can get to a point where, they won’t shut up and they keep wanting to show me pictures on their phone, and my gut starts tensing because I know I need to get on with whatever… But generally, they get it in time, or if I say: "Really sorry, I just have this deadline, so…" they’re immediately respectful. But generally, talking to other people makes my work better, so I’m glad of it.
What’s the first thing you do when you leave your desk for the day?
Countdown (though that’s more of an afternoon break, than the end of the day!). I unpack the fabulous bag, and put the laptop on charge. Cuddle the dog. I often have an exercise class at some point, I think it’s crucial to spend as much time moving as possible, when you’re job’s so stationary, so I’ll maybe change into sportswear for that. I love an afternoon nap if possible. Very neuroprotective!
Thanks so much to Polly for answering my questions! How The Female Body Works is out now and here on Bookshop, here at Waterstones and here on Amazon.
Thanks for reading and have a lovely Monday. It’s a mere 10.45 in the morning and I have already been bitten by a horsefly, SO PAINFUL and throbby. Back soon, when this heat abates slightly. Meanwhile, as ever, do please really kindly leave a ❤️ if you enjoyed this post - thank you!
PS I wish we still had the giant above-ground pool in place - it was bliss on a day like this. Here’s a pic from 2016. Might have to resuscitate it (Amazon tells me it was this one and yow, prices have gone up a lot).
If I didn’t like Polly Vernon already …. her piece about Glastonbury today would do it. I echo every single word. I literally thank God that I’m not there as I sit comfortably watching the tv with a clean loo, king size bed and decent food to hand. I loathe people en masse — and this year's line up was dismal. The only person I wanted to watch the BBC didn’t feature on their garbled, buffered, crashingly useless Glasto iPlayer. But I saw Father John Misty in Hackney a few weeks ago.
a lovely read- she makes it sound easy- and I know it is not....a skill in itself.
https://www.superdrug.com/toiletries/travel/mosquito-and-insect-bite-treatment/superdrug-buzz-off-mosquitio-bite-click-relief/p/824035 these things are great for bites of all kinds.... don;t know why not more well known - stops the suffering!