Procrastination

is my superpower

Actually, it isn’t. My superpower is making a room, any room, feel cosy in record time. I am currently writing about exactly this. There is a deadline. Time is ticking. And yet.

Here are all the things I’ve done so far today:

• Tea and Mini crossword, Connections, Wordle, Spangram, in that order, then Words With Friends.

• Rearranged a stack of pottery dishes in the kitchen, at some length.

• Ordered my daughter’s birthday present.

• Ate scrambled eggs (again - teeth).

• Admired the cover image of House & Garden. I really love a dining table that’s surrounded by bookshelves. Thought about this for a bit.

  

  This one, from the new March issue. Photo by Christopher Harwood.

• Pinged the wax remnants off some spent scented candle containers that I’d frozen overnight. Very satisfying.

• Inspected my amazing bruises - apparently peak bruise is going to be on Friday.

• Looked up what it means to be a Wood Snake in the lunar year of the Wood Snake (happy lunar new year!). Then looked it up again because I wanted to be told Wood Snakes would have exceptional luck.

• Opened my post, which included a proof copy of Geoff Dyer’s memoir, Homework. Disaster! Powerful urge to read it right that minute.

• Resisted.

• Opened and played with boxes of makeup samples (Jones Road old school gel liner in a pot = vvg).

• Walked around the garden - wearing said gel liner and quite a lot of bronzer in completely the wrong shade - looking for signs of life. We have aconites - very yellow, not sure I love them, also hellebores and snowdrops and primroses and mini cyclamen. Took pictures.

  

  Cheerful, but maybe a bit much, like a ‘fun’ person at a party

• It was sunny, so I decided to sit outside with a coffee, to think about my book.

• Went inside and made the coffee.

• Sat outside but got distracted. Shouldn’t have engaged with the goats, though in fact they are very sociable and engaged with me first.

• Rearranged the fridge. We have a lot of cavolo nero and chard.

• Decided to make minestrone to use it up. Compared recipes (Julia Turshen’s speedy approximation in What Goes With What is very good).

• Worked out the shape of the chapter I’m working on while ostensibly thinking about soup - THIS IS WHY PROCRASTINATION WORKS.

• Made some notes about it.

• Felt triumphant.

• Went into my office.

• Sat down. Opened Word.

• Closed Word, opened Canva, made some elements to scatter about in posts despite being unsure of the right size.

• Opened Word again.

• Remembered the upstairs bathroom was looking a bit grim this morning.

• Sprayed the upstairs bathroom taps with limescale remover.

• Looked at TikTok while I waited for it to work.

• Scrub Daddied the taps. Like new!

• Looked up a ton of illustrators on Substack. (Are you one? Message me!)

• Some tulips got delivered. Went outside to cut some catkins to go with them.

• Arranged the catkins and tulips.

• Read the Suzanne Valadon catalogue that a kind friend has sent me from Paris.

• Approached my desk (it is currently 15.53).

• Decided to quickly write this. What is actually wrong with me?

• BUT I will now concentrate on the job in hand.

• Though I am a bit peckish.

If my publisher is reading this (hi, H!), DO NOT FRET. It’s all in hand. In its own way.